Stay-At-Home Mother of Three Realizes Her Husband Sees Himself as More “Valuable” Than Her: ‘He Doubles Down Saying Everything We Have Is Because of Him. He Says He Brings More to The Table, He Could Easily Do My Job And I Couldn’t Do His’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 23, 2026 2:00 PM EDT

It's always the same old story: a stay-at-home mom's work goes undervalued until the one who undervalued her tries to care for the kids for two days straight and realizes what it entails

People who don't regularly look after children often imagine stay-at-home moms wandering around all day drinking coffee and occasionally looking out the window as their hardest work. If you've ever been around small children, you know you won't even have time to get dressed or go to the bathroom, let alone quietly drink coffee.

If you stop paying attention to the kids for five minutes, you most likely will end up with a crayon painting on the wall or a fresh toddler haircut, but as we've seen moms perform that labor all our lives, we assume it doesn't tire them or that it comes out naturally for them.

I'm here to tell you it does tire them, it doesn't come naturally, and that household labor should be considered as valuable as a blue-collar job. After all, if we don't have someone looking after children, nobody can go to the office in the first place. All I'm saying is that both parts of a team can't exist without the other.

In this story in particular, I think that resentment is building up, and sadly, there is not much you can do after that. Some commentators say she reached the point of no return and might as well pack her things and go, because there is not much she can do after that.

Is that really it? Or are we too quick to give up on partnership and family these days? Can't this type of issue be solved through dialogue? Especially if there are children involved.

I would definitely choose to try to fix it by talking A LOT first. Am I too optimistic?

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  • Cheezburger Image 10665371392
    via Vitaly Gariev

    So you think you're more valuable than me?

    Stock photography for depiction only



     

  • AIO? Husband says he’s more valuable than me

    I'm gonna preface by saying I'm a SAHM who works extremely part time for family (from home) but am paid a salary regardless of how much time it takes me to get the work done. Truly, it takes
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • only a few hours a week. I'm aware I've got a great and privileged set up. Like I said, I also have my 4.5 yr old, 3 year old, and 18 month old at home 24/7. My husband has recently been pretty.. r ide? If that's
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • the word for it. If we're in an argument, he interrupts me often. I feel that he thinks his opinions and how he feels about something and what he has to say, are more important. I brought this up tonight and said I felt like he sees himself as
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • more valuable and this is translating to the rode attitude he's been displaying lately. He started off by saying that's not the case. Then 10 minutes into the conversation he says he does see himself as more
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • valuable because he works harder, and makes more money. He is blue collar so 100% works very hard. I counter saying I'm just as valuable, I make half of what he makes and save us the other half in childcare. So monetarily,
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • I'm as valuable to our family as he is. He says I'm only able to stay home because I'm so lucky for my work arrangement and how easy I have it, and because he makes it possible for me to stay home because of what he
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • Cheezburger Image 10665371648
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Resenment builds up

    Picture does not depict real parties

     

  • earns. Then doubles down saying everything we have is because of him. He says he brings more to the table, he could easily do my job and I couldn't do his. He started escalating. and getting extremely mad so I said I didn't want to
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • continue the conversation tonight and he again just insisted he's more valuable because he makes more money and works harder. Am I insane here?? This is so far from the person I married and is such a condescending
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • and disrespectful attitude to have in a marriage. Now I'm second guessing myself and wondering if I've conflated my value.
    via SalamanderSweaty6619
  • EarthborneArt NOR You have a job and are raising three children under 5 along with running a household. I wonder if he's actually feeling inadequate because all he does is go to work.
    via EarthborneArt
  • Grand_Alarm_9639 He needs to STFU, 3 children under 5. I bet he couldn't do what you do. I'm sorry you're not valued.
    via Grand_Alarm_9639
  • Queen_beeeeee NOR He's only able to go to work because you're taking care of his children. Regardless, this is meant to be your partner in life, the one who's got your back. Not attack you and tear you down.
    via Queen_beeeeee
  • Cheezburger Image 10665371904
    via Helena Lopes

    Taking care of children has infinite value

    Stock photo unrelated



     

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relationship advice family drama family feud relationships family toxic relationship relationship drama
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